Is your car prepared for the Apocalypse? The Rapture is coming!

Air Bag Hazmat information

Well car guys and girls, the time has come for the end of the world Saturday May 21st 2011. I’m sure you’ve been procrastinating it a little. If your like me, life usually gets in the way of the apocalypse. Don’t panic though, theres still time left to get your vehicle ready for the end.

You may be asking yourself “Why bother, the worlds ending isn’t it?” Well maybe, but based on my limited knowledge of religion and vast knowledge of zombie movies, I can tell you that you should always be prepared for the worst. Should you survive whatever transpires on Saturday, your first tool of survival will be your vehicle. At least until it gets destroyed. NOTE : expect your vehicle to be destroyed by zombies with in 30 minutes of leaving your home

Check your Tires

Now would be a great time to make sure theres proper air in all of your tires. This includes your spare tire. In the inevitable event of a flat, you’ll have a fighting chance if you have a spare. If you’ve been eye balling that fancy new set of run flat tires for a while, now would be a great time to buy them. Husbands, tell your wives the world is ending and the families safety justifies the $1k+ you just spent on tires.

Paperwork

Do you think you’ll have a GPS signal once the apocalypse comes? Think again. Buy a paper map and figure out how to use it BEFORE Saturday! You can’t be fumbling around with a map you don’t understand. It may also be a good idea to invest in a general survival guide. If you don’t already have The Zombie Survival Guide in your glove box you’ll need to get it. IF zombies are a factor post apocalypse, you’ll need to know how to handle them.

Gas!

This should go with out saying but when you’re wrapped up in post apocalyptic survival, things can be forgotten. Make sure your car is filled with gas Friday night. Once all hell has broken loose, you’ll need to know where the hot spots are for gas stations and tanker trucks. Proceed with caution though as refilling stations can be used to lure you in by other survivors that are out for blood.

Food and Supplies

Stock your trunk with food, obviously twinkies are your first choice but keep some other things in there that’ll give you more nutritional value. Get the essentials like matches, lighters, water, towels, first aid, knives, and weapons. Toss in some toilet paper and soap also, just because its the apocalypse doesn’t mean you have to live like an animal! Put everything in flame retardant duffel bags so you can move from car to car.

Maintence

Go over your car from top to bottom and check the maintenece items. Check ALL fluids, make sure all the lights are in proper working condition, make sure the AC works, etc. Most importantly, change your wiper blades. You have no idea what Zombies are capable of and you’ll need to be able to see what their doing.

Finally if your stuck or not sure of something, simply consult this simplified pie chart:

 

 

*Obviously this post is for entertainment. Don’t go out and do anything stupid or illegal just because some people think the world is ending.